Blaming others

"Your spiritual work must fundamentally deal with the issue of resolution and forgiveness, which requires that you gain an understanding of the reality of those people whom you blame or with whom you have contention and to recognize the importance of these relationships in giving you wisdom and helping to teach you something of real value that you can use throughout the course of your life."

"If you are to see into the reality of another person, which is necessary if you are ever to establish a real relationship with them, you cannot bring the weight of condemnation into this understanding. Even if you recognize limitations and errors within this person, it is done from a position of clarity and compassion. There is no blame."

Complaining and blaming others

"People love to complain about the way things are and cast blame all around, but where are they in responding to the world?"

"It is a confrontation that is necessary, or people will not rise to the occasion. They will not see what will be required of them or their nations. They will always blame other people. They will always think it is because of someone else that they are suffering or that the times are difficult. And all the energy that goes into complaining and whining and projecting blame upon others will all be wasted, for it will lead to nothing at all. It will not generate constructive action. It will not raise the level of personal responsibility."

For failing to respond to the Great Calling

"Many have not responded to a greater need and a greater calling in their lives. Why blame them for this? Accept it."

"This is a time now to stop blaming others, to end your ceaseless debates, to set aside your grievances and your hostilities, to face the fact that you are going to have to live life much more simply in the future. You will be living in a world of great resource restraints. You will not be able to get around very easily. Everything will be very expensive and there will have to be a great emphasis on producing food and other necessary things on a much more local scale. There will have to be tremendous restraint of anger, blame and hostility if people are to make this necessary transition."

"It has taken a very long time to create the conditions that will bring about the Great Waves of change. And everyone has participated in this to some degree, so there is no one person or organization or nation alone who is fully to blame. The wealthy nations have taken more, but everyone has taken from the world—even the poorest people, who have taken so little and who have so little. Everyone is responsible."

Blaming others for your own failure

"You cannot live in a state of fantasy or denial, projecting your blame and hostility on your parents or your culture or organizations or governments."

"How can you approach your strength when you feel weak and helpless, when you feel unworthy, if you are burdened by guilt or confusion or in anger blame others for your own apparent failures?

"Often people become very lazy here because they are waiting for something to change them.Then if it goes wrong, they have someone else to blame.'Hey, I was just there and it changed. Don’t blame me!' But to take full responsibility means that you are cooperating with life in bringing about the necessary adjustments as you proceed."

"The mind does not want to suffer, so it creates convenient solutions, convenient conclusions and simple explanations. It casts blame upon others."

"People want change and peace. They expect others who do not have what they have to be peaceful, to be peaceful and cooperative with one another. They think that someone else should take care of the great problems of the world, and they blame others for the fact that the world is the way it is today. They do not see their own part of the responsibility in this."

Blaming partners for failure in relationship

"Often people will assume that they are going to be the therapist or the teacher for their partner. These relationships almost never succeed and are extremely costly because the giver will eventually feel taken advantage of and the receiver will be blamed for not meeting the giver’s expectations."

"If you have expressed everything you need to express, if you have taken responsibility for your own difficulties, errors, lack of honesty and so forth, and if you have not projected blame upon the other but have assigned cause to both of you, this wound will begin to heal, giving you the possibility to move forward into a greater and more complete union with someone else. However, if blame is maintained, if resentments are honored, if unforgiveness is preserved and if your own responsibility has not been accepted, then the wound will not heal and will be a source of pain and discomfort, anxiety and concern in the future."

"If you cannot participate in the world together, you will not be able to be together. Therefore, you want to choose someone who is ready, willing and able to participate in the world with you—not someone who wants to do it but cannot do it, or someone who can do it but who does not want to do it, or someone who is not ready to do it but who someday might want to do it. This person must be ready, willing and able. If they are ambivalent and you are not, you will pay the price and they will receive the blame."

"Be prepared then during separation in a relationship, for you will be blamed to a certain degree, and there will be anger and resentment towards you. Perhaps some of it is justified."

Blaming the ambitions of leaders

"It is true there are individuals in history and individuals in the world today who are very ambitious, who want to have great power for themselves in the halls of government, in the arena of commerce and in the palaces of religion. But they cannot be blamed solely for the great conflicts that have swept across the world, for which humanity has suffered so greatly, which have devastated nations, which have overwhelmed tribes and groups and which have led to annihilation of entire peoples."

See also

Blame

Condemnation

Expectations placed on a Messenger

Judgment

Further study

• Love and Relationships: Healing Relationships

• Wisdom from the Greater Community, Book 2, Chapter 18: Compassion