Difference between revisions of "Romance"
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| − | == | + | ==Quotes about romance== |
| − | "It is what you ''do'' together that determines the nature and purpose of relationship. That is why human romance is such an empty promise, for if you cannot do anything together, you have no basis for being together. The initial attraction turns cold and dark, and the desire and the embellished feelings turn ashen and become bitter and resentful. | + | "It is what you ''do'' together that determines the nature and purpose of relationship. That is why human romance is such an empty promise, for if you cannot do anything together, you have no basis for being together. The initial attraction turns cold and dark, and the desire and the embellished feelings turn ashen and become bitter and resentful." |
| − | <ref> | + | <ref>''Living The Way of Knowledge'', Chapter 3: [https://www.newmessage.org/the-message/volume-3/living-way-knowledge/essential-relationships-others The Pillar of Relationships]</ref> |
| − | + | "Romance is a fool's paradise with tragic results." <ref>[https://www.newmessage.org/the-message/other-revelations/love-and-relationships Love and Relationships] (April 21, 2011)</ref> | |
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| − | "Romance is a fool's paradise with tragic results." <ref>Love and Relationships (April 21, 2011)</ref> | ||
== Directives == | == Directives == | ||
"Avoid falling in love. When we say falling in love, we are talking about creating a [[fantasy]] with another. Romantic love, fantasy, is the epitome of the personal mind's self-indulgence. In an attempt to validate itself and to justify its existence, it seeks union with another for this purpose. It cannot join with another; it can only use another to validate itself. This is the basis for romantic love. What you must find instead is recognition and the ability to participate with another. A beautiful face, a lovely set of eyes, a wonderful image, a charming or exotic personality, anything that attracts you and mesmerizes you, anything that holds your attention against your will, anything that keeps your mind fixated on its own ideas and prevents it from gaining access to Knowledge--these things represent a romantic approach to relationships, and these you must avoid." | "Avoid falling in love. When we say falling in love, we are talking about creating a [[fantasy]] with another. Romantic love, fantasy, is the epitome of the personal mind's self-indulgence. In an attempt to validate itself and to justify its existence, it seeks union with another for this purpose. It cannot join with another; it can only use another to validate itself. This is the basis for romantic love. What you must find instead is recognition and the ability to participate with another. A beautiful face, a lovely set of eyes, a wonderful image, a charming or exotic personality, anything that attracts you and mesmerizes you, anything that holds your attention against your will, anything that keeps your mind fixated on its own ideas and prevents it from gaining access to Knowledge--these things represent a romantic approach to relationships, and these you must avoid." | ||
| − | <ref> | + | <ref>''Greater Community Spirituality'', Chapter 14: [https://www.newmessage.org/the-message/volume-2/greater-community-spirituality/what-must-be-avoided What must be avoided]</ref> |
| + | <blockquote> | ||
"The road to Heaven is through relationships. It is a road of relationships. You may try your hardest to feel whole and joined with life, and you will have experiences of this now and then, but until you can be joined to another, give yourself and dedicate your resources in conjunction with another’s dedication, you are only flirting with reality. | "The road to Heaven is through relationships. It is a road of relationships. You may try your hardest to feel whole and joined with life, and you will have experiences of this now and then, but until you can be joined to another, give yourself and dedicate your resources in conjunction with another’s dedication, you are only flirting with reality. | ||
Do not attempt to have a romance with reality, for you are meant to have relationship. A romance may be very intense and very enticing, but it has no foundation and cannot last. It will end in bitterness and confusion unless it can lead to meaningful relationship. You have seen this in your own experience with other people." | Do not attempt to have a romance with reality, for you are meant to have relationship. A romance may be very intense and very enticing, but it has no foundation and cannot last. It will end in bitterness and confusion unless it can lead to meaningful relationship. You have seen this in your own experience with other people." | ||
| − | <ref>Living The Way of Knowledge, Chapter 8</ref> | + | <ref>''Living The Way of Knowledge'', Chapter 8: [https://www.newmessage.org/the-message/volume-3/living-way-knowledge/building-spiritual-community Building Spirtitual Community]</ref></blockquote> |
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| + | ==Realisation of True Relationship== | ||
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| + | “They increasingly see that romance without true relationship is hopeless and will always be destined to pain and disappointment. They will increasingly see that a relationship must have purpose or a greater focus than simply personal gratification in order to survive and to provide meaning. They will increasingly see that the initial peak experience of romance is not relationship, but only an experience of recognition between two individuals. They will increasingly want to be in relationship with real people and not merely with their ideas about them.” <ref>''Relationships and Higher Purpose'', Chapter 10: [https://www.newmessage.org/the-message/volume-4/relationships-higher-purpose/stages-development-relationship Stages of Development]</ref> | ||
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| + | ==Attraction== | ||
| + | |||
| + | "In order to differentiate between recognition and attraction, you must cultivate Knowledge, the ability and the foundation to know within your own mind. It is fundamental to everything We teach and advocate." | ||
| + | <ref>''Wisdom from the Greater Community Volume I'', Chapter 5: [https://www.newmessage.org/the-message/volume-5/wisdom-greater-community-volume-1/marriage-consummate-relationship-devotion Marriage]</ref> | ||
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| + | "As Knowledge emerges, everything begins to fall into place. There are not so many choices. You feel a very strong attraction to another person, the kind that sort of sweeps you away, and instead of saying, 'Oh, how wonderful! Attraction!' and being swept away and then finding out later if there is any relationship there, you stop and you see if this is Knowledge or not. You are able to check yourself. This keeps you returning to what is vital to your own fulfillment and to your own contribution to others." | ||
| + | <ref>''Wisdom from the Greater Community Volume One'', Chapter 7: Freedom</ref> | ||
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| + | "You can be in love with someone whose values are so different from yours that you could not stand to be together beyond the initial romantic phase. You will constantly be arguing, constantly in friction, constantly disagreeing, constantly maladapting to each other." <ref>[http://www.newmessage.org/the-message/other-revelations/discernment-in-relationships Discernment in Relationships] (February 13, 2009)</ref> | ||
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| + | "Part of the attraction of romantic love is that it seems to return vitality to you. Temporarily. It is deeply stimulating to your [[Life Force|life force]], but it does not give expression or promise to it. The great romantic interludes that you see in your stories and in your pictures are very exciting, but they hold no promise. After you have met this desired one who seems to bring out of you such fascination, enjoyment and self-abandonment, what do you do then? Do you sit around and abandon with each other! There is nothing to do, nowhere to go. Your fascination begins to disappoint. These parodies of relationship must be recognized. True relationship has the intimacy, compassion, and deep pleasure of union because it has promise, direction and purpose." | ||
| + | <ref>''Wisdom from The Greater Community Volume I'', Chapter 2: [http://www.newmessage.org/the-message/volume-5/wisdom-greater-community-volume-1/relationships-and-sexuality Relationships and Sexuality]</ref> | ||
==References== | ==References== | ||
<references/> | <references/> | ||
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| + | ==Further study== | ||
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| + | *[http://www.newmessage.org/the-message/other-revelations/discernment-in-relationships Discernment in Relationships] (February 13, 2009) | ||
==See also== | ==See also== | ||
Latest revision as of 19:02, 13 March 2021
Quotes about romance
"It is what you do together that determines the nature and purpose of relationship. That is why human romance is such an empty promise, for if you cannot do anything together, you have no basis for being together. The initial attraction turns cold and dark, and the desire and the embellished feelings turn ashen and become bitter and resentful." [1]
"Romance is a fool's paradise with tragic results." [2]
Directives
"Avoid falling in love. When we say falling in love, we are talking about creating a fantasy with another. Romantic love, fantasy, is the epitome of the personal mind's self-indulgence. In an attempt to validate itself and to justify its existence, it seeks union with another for this purpose. It cannot join with another; it can only use another to validate itself. This is the basis for romantic love. What you must find instead is recognition and the ability to participate with another. A beautiful face, a lovely set of eyes, a wonderful image, a charming or exotic personality, anything that attracts you and mesmerizes you, anything that holds your attention against your will, anything that keeps your mind fixated on its own ideas and prevents it from gaining access to Knowledge--these things represent a romantic approach to relationships, and these you must avoid." [3]
"The road to Heaven is through relationships. It is a road of relationships. You may try your hardest to feel whole and joined with life, and you will have experiences of this now and then, but until you can be joined to another, give yourself and dedicate your resources in conjunction with another’s dedication, you are only flirting with reality.
Do not attempt to have a romance with reality, for you are meant to have relationship. A romance may be very intense and very enticing, but it has no foundation and cannot last. It will end in bitterness and confusion unless it can lead to meaningful relationship. You have seen this in your own experience with other people."
Realisation of True Relationship
“They increasingly see that romance without true relationship is hopeless and will always be destined to pain and disappointment. They will increasingly see that a relationship must have purpose or a greater focus than simply personal gratification in order to survive and to provide meaning. They will increasingly see that the initial peak experience of romance is not relationship, but only an experience of recognition between two individuals. They will increasingly want to be in relationship with real people and not merely with their ideas about them.” [5]
Attraction
"In order to differentiate between recognition and attraction, you must cultivate Knowledge, the ability and the foundation to know within your own mind. It is fundamental to everything We teach and advocate." [6]
"As Knowledge emerges, everything begins to fall into place. There are not so many choices. You feel a very strong attraction to another person, the kind that sort of sweeps you away, and instead of saying, 'Oh, how wonderful! Attraction!' and being swept away and then finding out later if there is any relationship there, you stop and you see if this is Knowledge or not. You are able to check yourself. This keeps you returning to what is vital to your own fulfillment and to your own contribution to others." [7]
"You can be in love with someone whose values are so different from yours that you could not stand to be together beyond the initial romantic phase. You will constantly be arguing, constantly in friction, constantly disagreeing, constantly maladapting to each other." [8]
"Part of the attraction of romantic love is that it seems to return vitality to you. Temporarily. It is deeply stimulating to your life force, but it does not give expression or promise to it. The great romantic interludes that you see in your stories and in your pictures are very exciting, but they hold no promise. After you have met this desired one who seems to bring out of you such fascination, enjoyment and self-abandonment, what do you do then? Do you sit around and abandon with each other! There is nothing to do, nowhere to go. Your fascination begins to disappoint. These parodies of relationship must be recognized. True relationship has the intimacy, compassion, and deep pleasure of union because it has promise, direction and purpose." [9]
References
- ↑ Living The Way of Knowledge, Chapter 3: The Pillar of Relationships
- ↑ Love and Relationships (April 21, 2011)
- ↑ Greater Community Spirituality, Chapter 14: What must be avoided
- ↑ Living The Way of Knowledge, Chapter 8: Building Spirtitual Community
- ↑ Relationships and Higher Purpose, Chapter 10: Stages of Development
- ↑ Wisdom from the Greater Community Volume I, Chapter 5: Marriage
- ↑ Wisdom from the Greater Community Volume One, Chapter 7: Freedom
- ↑ Discernment in Relationships (February 13, 2009)
- ↑ Wisdom from The Greater Community Volume I, Chapter 2: Relationships and Sexuality
Further study
- Discernment in Relationships (February 13, 2009)